This is another taboo topic within misophonia that I’ve been thinking about persistently and so feel somewhat obliged to wade into, in case there’s something valuable here.
A lot of misophonia triggers are perceived as being about transgression of social norms and etiquette: “I hate this sound because it’s rude”*. Still, it is generally accepted by both misophonics and non-misophonics that the reaction is disproportionate and aberrant.
In thinking about each of my misophonia triggers, though, and considering the possibility of de-training the associated reflex, I have to admit that for some of them I don’t want to do that. For others, I am open to de-training but think my original reaction is based on something objectively dysfunctional about the trigger.
Staring with these objectively dysfunctional ones, I’m talking mostly about jaw and breathing disorders in my case – see Misophonia and the jaw epidemic. I think my original (non-reflex) reaction to sounds and images that indicate dysfunction may have been based on an accurate perception of the dysfunction. Misophonia amplifies signals, and I think this is a case where the signal is pointing to something important.
For the other category I mentioned – triggers that I simply don’t want to detrain – I think the original reaction was based on a perception of interpersonal boundary-transgressing that was justified, and so the notion of letting these triggers wash over me feels morally as well as viscerally objectionable. In the cases I want to address the underlying interpersonal dynamic.
* I used to be skeptical of these “I hate this sound because it’s rude”-type explanations, leaning towards them being after-the-fact best-guess constructions by the brain in order to explain the trigger episode at a narrative level. I now realise that they may be accurate in that the rudeness could be what drives the acquisition of the reflex.
